


Two Plus Too

by Marie_Tomas



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Affection, Angst and Humor, Bars and Pubs, Christmas Party, Cuddling & Snuggling, Drunken Confessions, Dumbledore Knows, Epic Bromance, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, First Kiss, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Gay Sirius Black, Hogsmeade, Hogwarts Seventh Year, Humor, Love Confessions, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Minor James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, POV James Potter, POV Sirius Black, Platonic Cuddling, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Romance, Secret Crush, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-01-07 14:48:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21218609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marie_Tomas/pseuds/Marie_Tomas
Summary: On the last night of term before the Christmas holidays in their seventh year, the Marauders head to Hogsmeade to enjoy themselves. James and Sirius celebrate their friendship, James thinks about his new relationship with Lily, and Remus makes a drunken confession to Sirius that they might have to have a conversation about the next day...





	1. Chapter 1

Throughout his childhood, James Potter had never believed that he needed a boy best friend.

He'd got along so well with all the girls in his village after all, always able to charm them, and always dreaming, even when he was very young, that he would one day meet a girl who he would fall in love with, like the heroes in all the childhood stories that his mother had once read to him, and then that girl would be his best friend.

Not to mention that he'd always had a rather tense relationship with most of the boys he'd known-the boys from wizarding families were often jealous of him, resenting the fact that James was witty and intelligent and could already fly well on a broom at the age of four, and probably also resenting the way that his parents doted on him, trying to give him the best of everything; and the Muggle boys who lived in his village had always known that there was something…different about him, and their treatment of him had led to more than a few confrontations.

And so James had decided that there was nothing to be gained from trying to make friends with the boys.

This had all changed on his first day at Hogwarts, when he'd walked into a compartment on the Hogwarts Express and he'd met Sirius Black.

Sirius had smirked and made jokes and sarcastic comments, the two of them insulting Slytherin House together, and almost instantly, James had known that he and Sirius were going to get along well.

Their friendship was made official when Sirius had joined in with James's mocking of Snivellus, and from the moment the two of them had been sorted into Gryffindor, the pair of them had been inseparable, spending their days carrying out various pranks and practical jokes, and discovering secret passageways out of school, as well as sneaking into the school kitchens and into Hogsmeade, sharing plenty of laughs along the way.

Sometimes, it felt like the two of them only had to look at each other with a smirk, and they would know instinctively what the other was thinking.

They even confided in each other about love and romance, with Sirius doing his best over the years to help get James and Lily together, telling Lily at every opportunity about how 'great' James was, much to Lily's irritation.

They had their more…well, serious moments, too, with Sirius confiding in James about his terrible homelife and his intolerant family, and now the two of them frequently shared their whispered fears about the upcoming war.

Every year, Sirius had stayed with James and his family over the holidays, more permanently now that he'd run away from home, meaning that the two of them got to spend even more time together outside of school.

And now, James was reminiscing about this fantastic friendship as he leaned against a wall in the Hog's Head, on the evening of the last day of term before the Christmas holidays, after having snuck into the village to celebrate, along with most of the other seventh years.

He wasn't sure whether he was thinking so fondly about his friendship with Sirius Black because of end-of-term high spirits, or because he was a little tipsy after drinking Butterbeer earlier in the afternoon, before moving on to firewhiskey by nightfall.

Either way, James felt relaxed and happy, sharing the occasional bit of banter with Peter and Remus whenever they walked past him, at the same time watching Sirius work the room; he was flirting effortlessly with a few of the barmaids so he could get free drinks (_Oh, if only you all knew…_James thought to himself with a smirk), while at the same time discreetly looking a few of the handsome wizards at the bar up and down in appreciation.

He remembered when Sirius had first told him that he was gay-he'd been standing in the dormitory facing James, looking almost as terrified as Remus had looked when they'd all first discovered his 'furry little problem'.

James had almost been surprised at the time at how nervous Sirius looked-his best mate hardly ever got scared about anything. But he'd definitely looked worried then as he'd talked to James about his attraction to males, an apprehensive look on his face as he'd waited for James to respond. It was almost like he'd been afraid that his coming out would affect their friendship, or change it in some way, James remembered.

But James had simply shrugged in response, before he'd grinned and said, "Look, mate, I don't care who you're attracted to, as long as _I_ still get to be your favourite person…" And he'd really meant it, too; he didn't really mind who his friends ended up with, as long as he got to be a part of their lives, too.

And Sirius had laughed, calling James an 'arrogant arse', an expression of relief crossing his face as he'd affectionately ruffled James's hair, and then they'd started playfighting, and that had been that.

James was pulled out his memory as he looked back over at Sirius, who was now laughing with Marlene about what was no doubt a not-so-innocent joke.

When Sirius noticed him looking, he smirked and raised his glass in James's direction.

James grinned back at him. He almost felt sorry for other Hogwarts students who would never get to experience a friendship like theirs.

He also snuck in a few glances at Lily, who was standing on the other side of the room with a glass of Butterbeer in her hand, smiling as she talked to her friend Alice.

James's breath caught as he thought about how beautiful she looked tonight-how beautiful she always looked. This time, he knew it wasn't just the alcohol that was having an effect on him. He thought about Lily Evans like this all the time.

He was so glad that she had finally decided to give him a chance to be her boyfriend, and that she'd agreed to go on a first date with him to Hogsmeade a few weeks ago. He was sure he'd made a prat out of himself a few times on the date, but she'd seemed to have fun all the same.

When Lily caught his eye, James made a big show of smirking and winking at her.

Lily rolled her eyes and mouthed something to him about how he was a prat, but now this insult had become more of a term of endearment.

James grinned at her one more time, probably looking every inch the prat that she'd always thought him to be, before he focused his attention on the rest of the room again.

He noticed that Remus was walking towards Sirius, looking a little unsteady on his feet, no doubt due to a few too many firewhiskies. True to form, Remus was wearing an old Gryffindor jumper and faded jeans, with a hint of a scratch still across his cheek from his latest transformation, but Sirius at least seemed to appreciate Moony's choice of clothes, judging by the way he was looking at him.

As he got close to him, Remus threw his arms around Sirius, and, as though acting on instinct, Sirius pulled him in close.

James moved a little closer to his two friends, trying to hear what was going on.

"I love you," James heard Remus whisper in Sirius's ear. "I love you so fucking much."

James couldn't help it-he laughed a little at Remus's behaviour. Moony hardly ever swore when he was sober, but he was always a lot less inhibited after a few firewhiskies, often declaring his undying affection for his three best friends. He always gave the Marauders a good laugh every time they went to parties together.

But then James's grin faded when he caught a glimpse of the look on Sirius's face-Sirius's eyes were closed, and he seemed to be leaning into Remus's touch, as though trying to take in as much of the affection as he could while it was on offer. There was a look of utter devastation on his face-Remus might have been telling Sirius that he loved him, but James knew that he most likely did not love Sirius in the way that Sirius wanted him to love him.

James felt a little heartbroken on his best friend's behalf. It was all a bit too much, and he had to look away.

James tried to distract himself by talking to a few of the other Hogwarts students. He noticed that Frank and Alice were standing rather close to one another, and he wondered if something was going on between the two of them-he would have to ask Lily about it; she seemed to understand that sort of thing.

A few minutes later, he even managed to share a kiss with Lily under the mistletoe, trying not to enjoy the attention too much as several students cheered and wolf-whistled at the two of them.

The moment they pulled apart, Lily looked over James's shoulder and shook her head, looking a little concerned. "I think it's time to get Remus back to his dormitory," she whispered to James.

James nodded in agreement as he watched Remus, who looked a little emotional, and he seemed to be struggling to walk in a straight line.

James offered to walk back to school with him, but Lily told him that she would go back instead-she was ready to leave, and she told James he might as well stay here with Sirius and enjoy himself.

And so, after another quick kiss with Lily, James watched as Lily and Remus left the pub, walking close to one another, with Peter quickly falling into step behind them.

The closeness between Lily and Remus didn't bother James anymore like it had in the past; he remembered how Remus, looking as solemn as ever, had reassured him only recently that he _definitely_ didn't have feelings for Lily.

He'd been sitting on the opposite side of the dormitory from James at the time, looking tense and nervous and like he maybe had something else to say, but then they'd been interrupted by the arrival of Wormtail, who'd stumbled through the dormitory door and crashed to the floor-it had turned out that the Slytherins had put a body-bind curse on him.

James might not have cared that Lily and Remus were practically holding hands as they walked out the door, but when James looked over at Sirius, he noticed that there was a look of barely-disguised jealousy on Padfoot's face.

* * *

The next half an hour passed by in a blur. James and Sirius proceeded to get even more drunk, and they joined in with a few of the drinking games going on in the pub, laughing about how much trouble they would be in if the teachers found out that they were here.

Sirius seemed to cheer up as the night went on. "Prongs! There you are!" he called out drunkenly to James after they had been separated by the crowd for about ten minutes.

James grinned back at him and they both shared a hug, greeting each other like old friends who'd been apart for years rather than minutes.

After that there was dancing-at one point, James climbed up on one of the tables to dance, enjoying the attention of the large crowd that had gathered to cheer him on. It was all very funny, right up to the moment when James managed to fall off the table. It was lucky that there were a few students waiting to catch him.

"James, you prat!" he heard Sirius call out to him amongst the crowd, amidst his gasps of laughter.

After that, James decided to sit down at a table while Sirius went to get him another drink.

* * *

An hour or so after Lily and Remus had left, James and Sirius walked out of the Hog's Head and into the cool night air with their arms around one another. James was grateful for the gentle breeze, because the room had started to spin around a little back when he'd been inside.

They continued to hold on to each other as they walked up the path leading back towards the castle-or perhaps more accurately, they held each other up.

They always stood close to one another like this, laughing and joking as they threw their arms around one another, but they were even more affectionate than usual when they were drunk.

A few of the Slytherins had taken to making a few not-so-pleasant comments about their displays of affection, even going as far as suggesting that there was 'something going on' between the two of them.

It had got worse over the past couple of years, as Sirius's sexuality wasn't that much of a secret anymore, given that he'd been known to sneak off to old broom cupboards with some of the handsome male Hogwarts students.

And of course, the more narrow-minded students couldn't comprehend the fact that a wizard who was attracted to wizards could actually have a platonic friendship with another male.

But James didn't care about any of that-the Slytherins could think whatever they wanted about the two of them. All he cared about was being Sirius's best friend.

Sometimes, it felt like they were in their own little friendship bubble, protected from all the prejudice of the wizarding world; a friendship bubble that no Slytherins could burst.

Anyway, Sirius only had eyes for Moony.

As they walked, James listened to Sirius whispering mournfully about what he believed to be his unrequited love for Remus. "I love him, Prongs; I just love him so much…" Sirius whispered right in James's ear, placing his hand over his heart as he sighed dramatically.

Sirius had felt this way about Remus since third year. Remus, however, appeared to be completely oblivious to Sirius's affections.

James might have rolled his eyes and made a few sarcastic comments about how Sirius was getting a bit obsessed, but still he tried to listen sympathetically to his best mate's plight-he knew that he was the only one who Sirius could talk to about this sort of thing. "I know, mate, I know," he whispered.

He'd heard Sirius go on about his feelings for Remus so often that James felt _involved _in this romance now-he really wished that Remus loved Sirius back, and that the two of them would get together; he knew how happy it would make Sirius, if Remus really did have romantic feelings for him.

Remus and Sirius had always been close, sharing a special bond that was different to the bond that James shared with Sirius, and sometimes James had seen hints, suggestions, that maybe Remus didn't view Sirius in a purely platonic way, but still James wasn't sure if there was anything to it, or if he was only seeing things he wanted to see.

_Bloody hell…_James thought to himself, as he suddenly realised how much he cared about these two idiots getting together. His first-year-self would never have believed it.

"You can bloody talk, mate!" Sirius mocked him when James mentioned the 'bit obsessed' issue again in an attempt to lighten the mood, before he went on to tell James that he was just as bad as he was when it came to romance.

James simply shrugged, admitting defeat, and then the two of them started laughing.

In spite of his laughter, there was definitely a look of sadness in Sirius's eyes. He seemed a little distant, and James wondered if his mind was somewhere else at the moment-perhaps his thoughts were back at the Hog's Head, where Remus had put his arms around him and drunkenly told Sirius that he loved him.

* * *

As they left Hogsmeade, James tried his best to change the subject. He talked about his plans for next year, after he finished Hogwarts. He knew that there was trouble brewing in the wizarding world, and most of their teachers had made dark predictions of an upcoming war, but James was trying not to think too much about all of that right now.

He focused instead on the career he would have when the war was over, and the house that he dreamed of sharing with Lily.

He liked the idea of going to live in a little village-somewhere that reminded him of Hogsmeade-and maybe traveling to London for work.

Now that he was a little older and (hopefully) a little more mature, he liked sharing his dreams and his ambitions with Sirius. He hoped that Sirius and Peter and Remus could be a part of his future. Deep down, he already knew that Sirius would be a part of his life for the rest of his life.

Sirius always joked about how he was going to move in next door to James and Lily in the future, but James had a feeling that he wasn't _really_ joking. Since first year, James had dreamed of his best friend living on the same street as him, the two of them spending their time together like they had always done at Hogwarts.

* * *

As they staggered through the castle's grounds, their conversation turned to lighter topics.

James went on about how beautiful Lily had looked yesterday when she was wearing her Gryffindor jumper in the common room, and how beautiful she looked tonight, and how beautiful she'd looked on their last date in Hogsmeade.

Sirius laughed and called James a lovesick prat and jokingly placed his hand over his heart, but still he indulged James by listening to his drunken ramblings, in the way that James always listened to him.

After that, Sirius started to go on about how 'fit' some of the male students from Beauxbatons, the French wizarding school, had apparently looked when he and James had encountered them in London over the summer holidays. Sirius had always been rather enamoured by the Beauxbatons boys.

"You know how much I love it when they…walk," Sirius slurred, while James tried not to laugh.

James might not have understood how it felt to be attracted to men, but secretly, he was rather flattered that Sirius felt comfortable enough to share this sort of thing with him, in the same way that James had always told Sirius about all the girls that _he _found attractive.

For some reason, Remus always seemed to get rather irritated whenever Sirius even _hinted _at finding any male student attractive, and Peter always zoned out during these conversations, and so he didn't have many other friends to confide in about his crushes. James wondered if there was something in Remus's reaction, but he was too drunk to analyse the inner workings of Remus's mind right now.

Instead, he pulled Sirius in closer as they entered a secret passageway that would take them right into Hogwarts.

* * *

The two of them stumbled into their dormitory in a fit of drunken giggles, falling over each other as they tried to walk towards their beds.

Peter practically squeaked in fright at the sound of James and Sirius crashing into one of the bedside tables in the room, and Remus sat up, still looking drunk and half-asleep, and firmly told the two of them to be quiet and go to bed, sounding a lot like McGonagall, which only made the two of them giggle even harder.

"Let's cuddle tonight, Pads," James whispered in Sirius's ear as soon as Peter and Remus had gone back to sleep.

In his drunken state, the idea seemed hilarious. They had often shared a bed when they were younger-it had started back in first year when Sirius had been going through a rough time at home, and James had slept close to him to try to comfort him. Then there were the times when they'd simply fallen asleep next to each other after they'd stayed up late talking, and other times in winter when they'd been cold and they'd slept close to one another for warmth.

They'd kind of grown out of all that now, but still, the shared-bed thing was something they liked to do sometimes when they got drunk-it was nostalgic almost, an hilarious throwback to their younger years.

"Your wish is my command, Prongsy," Sirius replied with a grin and an over-the-top bow.

The two of them changed into their pyjamas on separate sides of the dormitory, and then they both jumped onto James's bed, playfully shoving each other as they got under the covers.

James knew that other students would probably find it a bit strange, if they knew about this-he wasn't sure if many other best friends routinely shared a bed when they were drunk-but James honestly didn't care. Other Hogwarts students might think that there was more to it, but they both knew that it wasn't like that. James was sure that this was the kind of affection he would have shared with a sibling, if he'd ever had a brother-and as far as he was concerned, Sirius _was _his brother now.

"Night, Prongs," Sirius muttered when they were finally settled under the covers.

"Night, Padfoot," James replied in a fake high-pitched voice, causing them both to giggle. In their drunken state, all of this still seemed really funny.

James reached over an threw an arm around Sirius, pulling him in for a hug. They might have mocked and gently insulted each other all the time, but that didn't mean that they didn't have their quiet moments of affection.

James decided to make the most of the peace while he could-no doubt Sirius would be back to angsting over his unrequited love for Remus in the morning.

Of course, James's appreciation for the moment of peace didn't mean that he was above elbowing Sirius in the side the moment they broke apart, just to offset the balance and reinstate a bit of 'manly pride', and then laughing out loud when Sirius shouted out a loud, "Ooomph!" in response.

"_Sirius_. _James_."

At the sound of Remus's warning tone from the other side of the room, James decided that now would be a good time to stop talking.

He moved a little closer to Sirius again, and the two of them started to drift off to sleep. It was oddly comforting, falling asleep next to his best mate like this.

James might have once believed that he didn't need a boy best friend, but now, he couldn't imagine his life without this boy in it.

* * *

James felt more than a little groggy when he woke up the next morning.

The sunlight beaming in from the windows in the boys' dormitory was far too bright.

He was _never _drinking again-not for at least another week, anyway.

He blinked a few times in confusion, trying to recall the events of the night before. His memories were still a little hazy, but he remembered the Hog's Head, firewhiskey, mistletoe, tables, dancing, walking through Hogsmeade with his best mate…

"Bloody hell. What time is it?" he heard someone mutter from next to him.

Oh, yeah, James remembered now, how he'd fallen asleep next to said best mate. It always seemed a good idea when they were drunk, but they'd probably have to endure hours of mockery from the other boys for the rest of the day.

Sirius was still pressed up close to him, sounding as hungover as James felt.

"Doesn't matter," James managed to mutter in response.

Right now, James didn't care about anything. He was tired, and it wasn't exactly uncomfortable, having Sirius sleeping next to him, and he wasn't ready to wake up yet. He decided that the two of them might as well just go back to sleep for a few more minutes, or hours, or days, whatever worked best.

He had just closed his eyes to go back to sleep when…

"A-hem…"

James jumped and opened his eyes quickly at the sound of a familiar voice.

Almost warily, he sat up a little (his head hurt when he moved it, he noted), and slowly, he turned to look over his shoulder.

Of course, Lily was standing at the foot of his bed, her arms folded, looking at Sirius and James with a curious expression, one eyebrow raised…

James still had no clue how she managed to get into the boys' dormitory all the time; he'd tried and failed many times to get into_ her_ room. James hadn't really questioned it before-most of the time, he'd been grateful for her presence in his room. But now…

"Er…" James tried to explain as he shuffled around a little in his bed, trying not to blush. He wasn't quite sure how he was going to explain this. He knew that the whole situation probably looked a bit bizarre from her point of view...

"Do I even _want _to know?" Lily asked him with a frown.

However, James was fairly certain that she was trying to fight off a grin.

"Probably not, Evans," Sirius cut into the conversation, sounding half-asleep and completely disinterested.

With that, he fell asleep again, his snores soft in James's ear, leaving James to attempt to grin and shrug apologetically at his girlfriend.


	2. Chapter 2

The morning after the Christmas party in Hogsmeade, the first thing that Sirius noticed when he finally managed to wake himself up in the seventh year boys' dormitory, apart from the fact that he felt a little worse for wear from the night before that is, and the fact that the sun seemed to shining a little too brightly through the window, was that Remus wasn't in the dormitory.

Sirius frowned a little at this realisation. It was a bit strange, that Remus had left the dormitory already-his friend had been feeling really tired for the past couple of weeks after a particularly unpleasant transformation recently, and he seemed to prefer to stay in bed for as long as possible whenever he could, not to mention that they had all been out of bed late last night at the party.

Still feeling a bit dazed after last night's firewhiskies, Sirius glanced around the room. James and Peter were still in the dormitory-Peter was fast asleep in his own bed, snoring softly, and James had apparently found his way to Sirius's bed at some point after Lily had left the dormitory earlier, leaving Sirius alone in James's bed for an hour or so. James was currently asleep, looking just as comfortable in Sirius's bed as he always looked in his own.

Sirius had assumed that Remus would have been sleeping alongside them.

Still, Sirius didn't think too much about his friend's absence from the dormitory as he got dressed, headed out of the dormitory and made his way to the Great Hall for breakfast, hoping to run into Remus somewhere along the way.

* * *

However, he didn't see Moony in any of the corridors, and he also noticed that his friend wasn't at the Gryffindor table at breakfast, either.

Sirius might have continued to not think very much of this unexpected absence, if not for the fact that Lily Evans kept throwing him pointed glances from across the Gryffindor table while Sirius was trying to enjoy his bacon and eggs. Finally, after Sirius had attempted to ignore her for several minutes, she sighed and asked him if he had talked to Remus yet.

"About what?" Sirius asked with a frown as he held a piece of toast delicately in his left hand, certain that he looked stunningly handsome, even while eating breakfast.

"I _really_ think that you should talk to him," Lily told him bossily with a raised eyebrow and a firm expression on her face, while Marlene nodded in agreement, her expression solemn.

Sirius had the distinct impression that the two of them had already spoken to Remus about something or other this morning, as they seemed to know something that Sirius didn't.

Lily and Marlene looked so...well…_serious_ that Sirius began to worry a bit.

Sirius's worries increased when Prongs and Wormtail finally joined them for breakfast, especially when Lily took James to one side before he could sit down for breakfast and started whispering frantically in his ear.

James then started to look a bit nervous when Sirius tried to ask him about Remus. His answers were a bit vague, and he kept saying he was too tired and too hungover to talk about anything, and Sirius had a sneaking suspicion that like Lily, he too was now deliberately avoiding the topic of Moony's whereabouts.

After he had finished breakfast, Sirius headed out of the Great Hall to try to find Remus in the castle, but not before Lily shouted after his retreating back that he should 'be nice' and 'be sensitive' when he finally found Remus, even though Sirius had no idea what she was going on about.

As he headed into the entrance hall, Sirius mumbled to himself about how girls always seemed to like speaking in code, but unfortunately, Alice chose that moment to walk right past him. She looked rather offended and told him that that was 'a terribly sexist thing to say'. Sirius however didn't have the time to argue; he had to find Moony.

* * *

Sirius went to look for Remus in the library, and in a few of the secret passageways that the Marauders had discovered, and even in a few of the classrooms, but he had no luck.

After about an hour or so, he returned to the boys' dormitory. James must have gone back to bed at some point after breakfast, because he was now fast asleep in his own bed.

"Oi!" Sirius called out to him, before he threw a pillow right at Prongs's head to wake him up.

James jumped up and swore at Sirius several times before finally asking Sirius what he wanted.

"I have to borrow the Map and the Cloak, mate," Sirius told him with a dramatic sigh. After all, desperate times called for desperate measures. "On a mission to find Moony, aren't I?"

James had never refused Sirius's requests to borrow the Marauder's Map or his Invisibility Cloak before, so Sirius was rather surprised when James (looking a little nervous, Sirius noted) mumbled something about how Wormtail had already borrowed the Map and the Cloak today, and then something about how he had no idea where Peter was.

"Sorry, mate," James told him with a shrug before he closed his eyes and _went back to sleep_.

Sirius might have used a few swear words of his own, but there wasn't very much he could do about the lack of the Map and the Cloak right now; Wormtail had them, somewhere in the castle, and James apparently had no idea where Peter was, and it was clear that his best mate was too tired and too hungover to be of much use right now.

* * *

And so Sirius was left to spent the rest of the morning wandering aimlessly around the castle and through the grounds, still having no luck in his search for Remus Lupin.

To make matters slightly more difficult, McGonagall seemed to appear every time Sirius rounded yet another corner, watching Sirius with folded arms and an annoyingly suspicious expression.

* * *

By midday, Sirius was getting more than a little worried. He hadn't seen Remus all morning.

If truth be told, Sirius was starting to miss him; he _liked _having Moony around. There was something so peaceful and so nice about walking up and down the corridors with Remus, the two of them laughing at their private jokes, with Sirius listening to Remus make sarcastic comments that most of the other students probably would never believe 'sweet', 'innocent' Remus Lupin was capable of making. And, if Sirius used those moments as an excuse to throw an arm around Remus's shoulder, pull him in close for a hug, or sneak in a few gentle touches, then nobody had to know about that.

* * *

Sirius was not in the best of moods by the time he arrived in the Great Hall for lunch, with no Moony by his side.

To make things worse, just as all the food appeared on the plates at the four house tables, Lily, still looking very solemn, announced that she had heard from Frank that Remus had spent the past couple of hours crying in the boys' toilets and wanted to be left alone.

Sirius let out a sigh of frustration and ran a hand irritably through his hair.

For some reason, he started to mutter something about how he thought that it was only the girls who did things like that at Hogwarts (Lily had spent many an afternoon crying in the toilets over Snivellus, after all), which earned him several glares and angry responses from all of the girls sitting close to him at the Gryffindor table.

And yet Sirius couldn't bring himself to care too much about their angry words. Maybe he was simply too worried about Remus's whereabouts and whether he was okay; or maybe he was angry that everybody seemed to be keeping some sort of secret from him; whatever it was, Sirius was finding it increasingly difficult to stay focused.

* * *

After lunch, Sirius searched all of the boys' toilets throughout the castle, but it seemed that Remus was no longer hiding away in any of them.

Sirius couldn't find James or Peter around the castle, either. He decided to head to the school kitchens to see if any of his friends were there, but the house-elves insisted that they hadn't seen Sirius's friends all day. Not even the food and the delicious-looking sweets that the house-elves readily handed out to Sirius could do anything to calm Sirius's growing sense of agitation.

* * *

As the late afternoon turned to evening, Sirius was starting to get a bit desperate. At a loss for anything else to do, he resorted to running up and down the school corridors and shouting his friend's name.

"Remus!" he called out frantically as he stalked past a suit of armour, throwing out his arms for dramatic effect. "Moony!"

Unfortunately, Professor McGonagall chose that moment to walk through the same corridor.

"Now, really!" she snapped at Sirius as she took brisk steps towards him, a look of disapproval written all over her face.

Apparently unmoved by Sirius's heartfelt story about one of his best friends being missing, and ignoring Sirius's suggestion that some sort of search party consisting of the prefects and the school ghosts should probably be put together to find him, McGonagall waved Sirius away with a few stern words about causing a commotion in the school corridors.

Sirius sighed. He suspected that McGonagall assumed that this was one of Sirius's typically melodramatic displays that always turned out to be nothing serious in the end.

Sirius had just rounded another corner when, to his surprise, he saw Professor Dumbledore approach from the opposite end of the corridor. Dumbledore was surrounded by a few of the other teachers, and it seemed he was on his way back from the Great Hall after dinner. Sirius had been so worried about Remus that he had forgotten about eating an evening meal.

"You know," said Dumbledore rather loudly, as though he was making a conscious effort to project his voice, "I always find that the Astronomy Tower is a useful place to go when I want to…gather my thoughts together…"

The other professors surrounding Dumbledore all seemed to be frowning in confusion at his words, or rolling their eyes, like they were convinced that Dumbledore was indulging in his typical babbling that nobody else could follow, but Sirius was sure that Dumbledore slowed down a little the moment he walked past him, and he even raised an eyebrow at Sirius as he passed, his expression almost suggesting that he was offering him some sort of important clue.

Sirius paused for a few moments as he watched Dumbledore's retreating back. Had he really been dropping some sort of hint as to where Remus was? It would not be the first time that Dumbledore had mumbled cryptic words and phrases that had turned out to be helpful to the various tasks that the Marauders had undertaken over the years.

In the end, Sirius shrugged. He had no other clues to follow, so he decided he might as well head to the top of the Astronomy Tower to have a look.

* * *

Still feeling sceptical that his friend would even be there, Sirius climbed the spiral staircase that led up to the Astronomy Tower.

He might have muttered, "This is ridiculous," a couple of times along the way, but, much to his surprise, when Sirius reached the top of the Tower, Remus was there, his back to Sirius as he stared up at the night sky, looking bloody adorable with his hair a little tousled and dressed in what Sirius knew to be a tattered maroon jumper with the letter 'R' emblazoned in yellow on the front. The jumper had been a gift from Mrs Potter-James's mum liked to knit jumpers for the Marauders every winter as part of their Christmas gifts. They all laughed and joked when they received the jumpers every year, but Sirius knew that they all secretly loved to wear them. In fact, Sirius was already looking forward to receiving a brand new dark blue jumper this Christmas, with a letter 'S' on the front.

Remus also looked very handsome, in spite of his tense body language, Sirius thought to himself. Remus Lupin always looked handsome-to Sirius, anyway. But then Sirius shook that thought off, deciding that now was not the time or the place to indulge in his typical thoughts about Remus's good looks.

"Moony…" Sirius muttered, softly, gently, in a tone of voice that he only ever used with Remus Lupin; it was the tone of voice that James mocked him ruthlessly for.

Remus jumped and turned around a little at the sound of Sirius's voice. There was so much anguish written all over his face that Sirius was overcome with a strong urge to wrap Moony up in his arms; to hold him close and take care of him. He wanted to brush a few stray stands of hair away from Remus's face, ask him if he'd been eating enough today, tell him that everything was going to be all right, even though Sirius had absolutely no idea what was wrong and whether everything would in fact be all right. Remus's eyes also looked a little red, like he really had been crying throughout the day.

"Moony," he repeated in barely more than a whisper, before he started to take a slow, tentative step towards his friend. It was the approach-with-caution method that Sirius had learned to adapt for whenever Remus was in this sort of mood.

Sirius was really scared now. His mind started to run through all the possibilities of what could be wrong with his friend; Remus lived in constant fear that the other Hogwarts students would discover his secret, and Snivellus seemed to watch them with a threatening expression whenever they passed him in the corridors, as though he could 'accidentally let slip' Remus's secret at any moment and try to get him expelled. Perhaps somebody really had found out; perhaps the teachers had decided that it was no longer safe for Remus to remain at Hogwarts; perhaps Remus was really ill after a few painful transformations; perhaps his parents were ill; perhaps his friend had heard yet more whispers about the upcoming war that seemed to be starting outside of Hogwarts…

Sirius was not generally an anxious person, but as each dire possibility ran through his mind, he found himself starting to feel sick with worry.

Apparently, Remus wasn't in the mood for Sirius's gentle approach today. "Sirius, don't!" he snapped, holding up a hand as though to signal to him to get back.

Sirius sighed. He was all too used to this 'back off' reaction from Remus. He could practically see Remus shutting down, closing up, getting ready to push Sirius away, both physically and mentally, the way he had done since first year when he'd been trying to hide his 'furry little problem' from his friends. It broke Sirius's heart every single time.

Judging from this reaction right now however, Sirius started to suspect that he personally had done something to get Remus so upset.

Sirius held up his hands in a gesture of surrender, silently letting his friend know that he would not come any closer, if that's what he wanted; that he didn't want to cause him any unnecessary distress. Sirius had learned over the years that it always took a lot of reassurance and gentle coaxing before he could get his friend to open up.

"Moony, what's wrong?" he asked gently, using the I'm-so-sorry look that had charmed a lot of pretty witches and wizards over the past couple of years and got him out of many a detention.

Moony, however, appeared to be unmoved by Sirius's charm at the moment.

Rapidly, Sirius tried to think of something that he might have done to upset him…

"Was it all the noise that Prongs and I were making last night, Moons? If it was, then I'm really sorry; you know that James and I act like a pair of prats when we're drunk…"

"No, it's not that," Remus interrupted him. "I know what you two prats are like after a few drinks…"

In spite of his obvious look of distress, Remus actually managed a sort-of smile as he spoke those words. The smile was somehow both an exasperated and an affectionate one; it was like he was used to Sirius and James getting on his nerves, but he wouldn't have it any other way.

"Then, what is it?" Sirius asked him, at a loss as to what might be wrong with Remus.

Remus sighed, and Sirius noticed that the guarded look was back on his face again.

A tense silence seemed to hang in the air between them before he spoke again…

"I told you I loved you…" said Remus, looking down at the floor with a mournful expression.

Sirius frowned, waiting for Remus to add something else to this sentence. Sirius really couldn't see why this incident alone would be causing Remus so much anguish. "And…?" he prompted Remus with a raised eyebrow.

Unfortunately, Remus looked even more distressed by Sirius's reaction. "Sirius, did you not hear me?" he snapped. "I told you I _loved _you, last night, at the party!"

Remus sounded slightly hysterical now, but still Sirius couldn't see what was wrong.

"A-are you not shocked, or upset?" Remus demanded of him.

_Of course I'm not upset, you prat! _Sirius really wanted to snap back at him with a dramatic sigh, but he held himself back. He really didn't understand why Remus was making such a big thing out of this. Sirius was used to Remus telling him that he loved him; all of the Marauders were-why would he be shocked about it?

"I hate to break it to you, Moony," said Sirius, trying not to smirk sarcastically, as he knew that this would only irritate Remus all the more, "but you tell me that you love me every single time you have a few too many firewhiskies…" Apparently Remus had been even more drunk than James and Sirius had thought, all those other times, if he couldn't even remember saying that sort of stuff so often.

To Sirius's shock, Remus recoiled as though someone had slapped him. "I-I do?" he asked Sirius, his voice sounding shaky now, while Sirius continued to stare at him in confusion.

What was going on? He almost wished that Evans were here; she was quite good at reading between the lines when people were upset, unlike Sirius, who generally had no clue when it came to decoding emotions.

"B-but, why haven't you tried to stop me from saying that sort of thing?" Remus asked him with a frown. "Why haven't you got annoyed about it before?"

Sirius shook his head in confusion. Stop Moony from telling him that he loved him? Why would he do that? Sirius _liked _it when Remus told him that he loved him. Of course, Remus didn't love him in the way that Sirius loved him, but still, it was nice to hear Moony say those words to him, even if they were only meant in a platonic way. Besides, Sirius had grown up in the sort of family where affection and kind words were notably absent, and so Sirius had grown to appreciate all of the affectionate words and gestures that his best friends shared with him.

Perhaps this was some kind of strange 'macho' thing on Remus's part, Sirius decided. Maybe he had started to take too much notice of some of the Slytherin boys, who always laughed at any signs of a close bond between two wizards; Sirius had had to put up with all of that nonsense for years whenever the Slytherins mocked the affectionate gestures between him and James, although Sirius had never really let their words truly get to him before. Perhaps Remus had taken some of these words to heart, however.

"I love you, too, Moony," Sirius told him with a shrug. Maybe Remus would feel less embarrassed about what he'd said if Sirius said the same thing in return.

The words fell easily from his lips, but in some ways, it was almost painful to put those words out there; to say them out loud to Remus when they meant so much more to Sirius than a platonic declaration of affection.

Sirius's words however appeared to offer little comfort to Remus. "No, you don't, Sirius!" said Remus, a look of despair crossing his face. "N-not the way that I love you," he added, before he let out a gasp, his eyes widening in apparent horror before he placed his hand over his mouth. It was as though he'd accidentally let something slip that he wasn't supposed to say out loud.

Sirius replayed Remus's words in his head: _Not the way that I love you…_

Surely not? Could it be? Was it even possible? Did Remus actually…_love _him? Was that why he was so upset about saying those words out loud to Sirius last night?

Sirius tried to make sense of it all...

Remus _liked _to be affectionate with his friends; he liked to tell them how much he cared about them; he had come from the sort of family where that kind of affection was cherished and encouraged, and so it was a bit easier for him to be affectionate with his friends in return, especially now that that they knew his big secret and he therefore didn't have to push them away as much.

Remus therefore would not be reacting this way if he had simply told his platonic best friend that he loved him.

This explanation seemed like a logical one, but still, Sirius wasn't sure if he could dare to dream…

"I love you, Moony," Sirius repeated, at a loss for anything else to say in light of all the desperate thoughts that seemed to swimming around his mind. "I love you as much more than a friend."

"N-no, you don't," Remus repeated, his voice shaking. He closed his eyes and shook his head, as though trying to protect himself from Sirius's words; as though he couldn't let himself believe them.

Sirius felt rather offended by Remus's repeated insistence that he didn't in fact love him. Obviously, Remus wasn't aware of all the times that Sirius had confided in James about what he thought was his unrequited love for Remus Lupin. Even now, Sirius couldn't help cringing with embarrassment as he thought about those early years, before James had worked everything out. There were so many times when he'd mumbled things like: "Remus has got nice hair," and "Remus has got nice eyes," to James in the Gryffindor boys' dormitory when just the two of them had been there. The most embarrassing declaration had to be, "Remus has got nice skin," in a particular moment of desperation on Sirius's part.

And then, when Sirius had fully confessed how he felt to his best friend, he had spent the next few years talking openly about his love for Moony to James, sharing his heartbreak over his belief that Remus didn't love him back. All of that had to count for something, didn't it?

Besides, surely Remus himself had worked out how Sirius felt about him through his behaviour towards him over the years? Sirius thought about all of their hugs and their affectionate gestures; their deep conversations; their long walks together in the Hogwarts grounds; the way they sat and looked into each other's eyes from across tables in classrooms and in the Great Hall, as though they were having silent conversations; the letters they wrote to each other when they were apart over the holidays; their strong bond during Remus's transformations when they were both in animal form. How could Remus not _know _how Sirius felt about him?

"Would it help if we kissed?" Sirius suggested. If Remus wasn't going to believe his words, then maybe he would believe his actions? It was the only thing that Sirius could think of to do, especially when Remus looked so miserable. Surely a bit of snogging would cheer him up?

Apparently though, Sirius was wrong; his words only seemed to cause further distress to Remus.

"Sirius!" his friend snapped at him. "This isn't a joke! It's not some drunken experiment after a few too many firewhiskies, or a game of Truth and Dare that you can laugh about with James in the dormitory tonight! All of these feelings are real to me!"

A single tear fell down his cheek, and Sirius knew that it wouldn't be long before he was fully sobbing. Remus generally held back his emotions, but there were times when things really got too much for him, when he'd been bottling up his emotions for too long, and at those times he was liable to explode in a burst of anger or tears.

"Moony," said Sirius, his tone firmer now, deciding that he would have to take the lead with this, or Remus would work himself up into a state, and it would be very difficult to calm him down again, and Lily and Frank and Alice would probably have to get involved, and James would start acting like the mother-hen of the group as he made his own strange attempts to calm the situation down, and Sirius _really _didn't want the others to get involved right now; this was between the two of them.

"I love you, for Merlin's sake!" he continued as he took slow, tentative steps towards Remus, trying to get closer. "And if you're not going to believe me through my words, then _please _let me show you through my actions. The only way I can prove this to you is through a kiss…"

They were only inches apart now.

Remus looked right into Sirius's eyes, as though trying to see deep into his soul, to work out the truth behind his words.

Sirius stared right back at him, trying to convey everything he couldn't put into words. This was what it was like during the full moon, when it felt like the two of them only had to look into each other's eyes when they were in dog-and-wolf form, and they could almost sense what the other was thinking; they could anticipate what they each were going to do next.

Remus must have sensed some sort of truth in Sirius's expression, because finally, he nodded, still looking terrified.

At that nod, Sirius felt a mixture of emotions-relief, happiness, and also fear. He'd wanted to do this for so long, but he'd _never _believed he would actually have the opportunity, and he was so excited, but also so afraid…

Remus seemed to be waiting for Sirius to make the first move. His expression was unreadable now, but Sirius noticed that he was taking deep breaths, and he could practically hear his rapid heartbeat.

Taking a step closer, Sirius placed his hands on Remus's face. The gesture was partly romantic, and partly out of fear that Remus would run away.

He was practically trembling. All these years he'd spent perfecting his witty remarks and his sarcastic comments and his confident swagger, and now he felt like a child again, trembling in fear at the first sign of adversity.

Slowly, carefully, he kissed Remus on the lips.

He heard Remus gasp as their lips made contact, but thankfully, he didn't pull away.

Sirius only kissed him gently at first, but after a few moments, he heard Remus let out a sigh, or maybe it was a groan. It was like something broke between the two of them in that moment, or some kind of invisible barrier broke down, because next moment, Remus pulled Sirius even closer to him, and their kissing got faster; it became more intense, more urgent.

As he parted his lips to give Remus better access, Sirius felt like his body was tingling from head to toe. He had never been kissed like this before; it had never been this intense, this romantic. Everything around him seemed fade into a blur; it was as though the Astronomy Tower was spinning around, and Sirius only had Remus to hold onto. The moon seemed to shine brighter, and the stars seemed to be dancing around the sky in celebration.

Sirius ran his hands up and down Remus's back, while Remus ran a hand through Sirius's hair. Sirius really hoped that this moment wasn't just a dream, or a fantasy, because it was turning out to be one of the best moments of his life.

All too soon, Remus broke the kiss, and the two of them took a few moments to catch their breath.

Remus stayed close to him though, and Sirius ran a hand gently through Remus's hair. He looked into Remus's eyes again, trying to confirm everything that he'd been trying to tell him through their kiss.

"I love you too, Moony," said Sirius, placing emphasis on every single word, hoping that Remus would finally understand the truth.

Finally, thankfully, Remus nodded.

_At last_, Sirius thought, he was allowing himself to have this; he was allowing himself to believe it.

The tears were falling slowly down Remus's cheeks, but now, they looked like tears of happiness.

Sirius pulled him in for a hug, and Remus went willingly into his arms. The two of them held each other tight, like they were afraid to let each other go.

The moment was so peaceful, so perfect…

"Kiss him again! Kiss him again!"

The two of them jumped and sprang apart as James burst into the room, flailing his arms before he tripped over his own feet and went sprawling onto the floor.

Peter wasn't far behind him, and he let out a squeak of fright when he saw that James had fallen over.

Remus blushed bright red and shuffled from one foot to the other, looking embarrassed by the impromptu interruption.

James, however, wasn't to be deterred. "Kiss him again," he repeated, as he attempted to get back onto his feet.

Sirius had a sneaking suspicion that his best mate had been hiding away at the top of the staircase the entire time, listening in on the conversation. Typical Prongs.

"Er, now really isn't a good time, mate," said Sirius as he tried to throw a few silent signals to James that he should probably get out and stop being a prat before Moony started shouting at the two of them.

Normally, Sirius wouldn't have cared about James witnessing one of his snogging sessions, but Remus was a lot more shy and self-conscious than he was, and he definitely looked uncomfortable at the arrival of the uninvited audience.

It seemed that James wasn't taking the hint. He looked positively indignant as Sirius made a few more 'subtle' gestures in the direction of the stairs.

James stood up straight and took a few deep breaths. "Hey!" he shouted as he folded his arms and pouted like a petulant first year. "I have been _invested_ in this romance, _right from the start_, and now I want to see some _payoff_!" His voice became increasingly high-pitched with every word he spoke.

Sirius glanced nervously in Remus's direction, but luckily, Moony seemed to be trying to fight off a grin at James's outburst, and at the way that Peter was nodding along vigorously, apparently in agreement with everything that James had just said.

The two of them had known that Remus was hiding away up here this evening, Sirius realised. They had known the exact reason why Remus had been so upset, but Remus had probably made them promise not to say anything to Sirius.

And yet, judging by the happy expression on James's face right now, the Marauders had secretly been rooting for the two of them all along, hoping that they could admit their feelings for one another tonight.

And so, after Remus had confirmed that it was all right, Sirius and Remus ended up re-enacting the past couple of minutes for their friends, the two of them blushing as they declared their love for each other before they leaned in for another quick kiss, much to Sirius's delight; it was an action which was greeted by loud whistles and whoops and cheers and wolf-whistles from James and Peter.

Sirius couldn't help grinning at their reactions. He knew that the other Hogwarts students might find it a bit strange that the Marauders shared so much between them, but it was just the way they were; and, as James had said, he _had _been invested in this romance all along.

* * *

After the cheering had stopped, Peter went to the kitchens to get some food, and the four of them had something of a party in celebration of Sirius and Remus's first kiss.

Remus was quieter than the others, still looking a little embarrassed and a bit shaken up by the events of the day, but he still managed to laugh and grin whenever James made jokes with him.

Sirius knew that the two of them still had so much to talk about, and they would definitely need some time alone together after this, and the kiss was just the start of what would be a long journey, but he was glad that they had at least made some sort of first step after so many years of pining on Sirius's part.

* * *

The four of them ended up staying at the top of the Astronomy Tower for a little while longer. They all looked up at the night sky, staring at the moon and the stars.

Sirius continued to hold on tight to Remus, still afraid to let him go, the two of them standing with their arms around one another. James and Peter might have been standing next to them, laughing and joking, but in that moment, Sirius felt like he and Remus were the only two people in the room.

Remus looked at Sirius, and the two of them stared into each other's eyes, sharing years of unspoken thoughts and feelings in that one look.

"I love you, Moony." Sirius finally spoke in barely more than a whisper, wanting to keep this moment between the two of them.

Remus smiled. "I love you, too," he said to Sirius.


End file.
